If you was to always leave me no where. i would rather quit.

又被吼了.
我没做错任何事吧?
为什么,我从不容许做任何错?
刚刚,我想找个地方躲起来,
但我找不到.
我的房间,不再是我的房间.
我的睡房,同样也不属于我.
我好恨.

从古至今,
我所有的决定都是错的吧?
从小到大,我一直是傀儡吧.

如今,人无寄生之所,叫我何不伤心.

我也想要,有一个,解我玩,帮与挺的兄呀.
不...
我想要一个可以让我哭的地方.

If life were to be something flawless, i would never want to get alife.

If life had to be become a mute, i would never be happy.

Sometimes i feel really upset. Was it i being the one sensitive? or was it they being the one insensitive.

Take it as me the one being sensitive.

I am the one always would be taking the blame.

Whenever it's right, it hardly would be me. Whenever it's wrong, it would always be me.

Was it a wrong to trying to protect myself? Yes, i guess.
They feel very irritated i guess.

在风雪的加载着，
寒的温度越变越低。

寒已没有感觉了，
冷得没有知觉。
原以为，
到了地球的另一端，
一切是崭新的开始，
但寒错了。
这可能是另一场噩梦的起点吧。

为什么寒所做的一切总被花花草草唾弃，
为什么寒总是被冷眼？
从寒刚踏进这个世界就这样。

因为花儿，都是因为花儿。
为什么那么的不公平？
寒改，寒原意改，
但它们始终看不到寒，
永远奉承着云朵。

努力不使双方的吗？
但为何寒终看不到。
把温度调得太高，
花儿会谢，
把温迪调得太低，
草儿会枯。
为何总是寒，
为何不是其它？

寒恨，寒怨。
寒讨厌。
讨厌心瞎之人。

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Hello Humans! SyL here in the house proudly present to u...
*drum sounding* No idea what!!

Han meh meh(Marilyn), now wearing my jacket till very shuang while i very cold ==
And back to study

Idiot. Wth.

Am i your secretary? No. I'm not.
Should i have to inform you every meetings? No, i don't.
I wonder are you really so ignorant or what, but i doubt so.
You are just finding excuses off of what isn't it.

It's been like 1 and a half years, since we know we would have meetings every week, and after MIA-ing for maybe 6months to 8months, coming back and ask, is there meeting not. Who are you trying to fake? Who are you trying to bluff.

All of your promises are fake isn't it?
Have we not given you chances? Have we not informing you in the past? We did in all means but you guys never cherish! Is you trying to play MIA-ing. Is you the one who take our kindness for granted. And now what? I said, it wasn't my job, MR.

Now, you're blaming me for getting hostile, but sir, have you forgotten what you asked? You said:"Why did you not informed me". Mr, hello? Who are you to boss me around. Okay, maybe not boss. But isn't you saying like, it's my job to remind. No?

And, i'm very sorry. I am just so bad-tempered, petty and impatient.(But she is more responsible thn you, MR dont know who. So go reflect yourself! )-SyL edit So, take it or leave it. That's me. It's my attitude to those who tampered my trust and irresponsible.

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I wonder, would he still remember me

Stopped emo-ing already. :D

Read a post homily of a priest of christ the king given by Francesca. It was quite nice though.

Our father always said,'no' to us. But then, they always have a deeper meaning behind they intend. They do not want us to be a softies, but to be strong. Strong in our heart.

Can i now say, i can now differentiate whose is good and whose the bad guy? Maybe not yet.
./contridicting.

Anyway, forgot what i want to say, but :D, I love what i'm now. Though things not getting better in anyway, still got more high and low to go, but i can do it! i hope :X.

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一切已告一段落。
有人欢喜，有人悲。

六个月的努力，一天化为乌有。

I HATE IT, I HATE IT, I HATE IT!

No one ever sees my effort. No one.
Not in the past nor now.

It was damn scary today. Very.
But what can i do? I just have to force myself on.
Everything gone haywire, everything.
Till the last minute.
Yet to no avail.
Who can i blame? Myself? or what?
What can i do?
What should i do?
They will never care how hard you tried, they care about the end product. And what happened?

You ever get that feeling of helplessness? I do!

Met an middle-age Uncle on the MRT today after Jonathan dropped off. He told me to move on and be strong. ( though his topic a little side-track to the family issue side but his main point was there ).

I hate the feeling of helplessness, the more i tried the be strong, the harder i fall.

Working for 6 months, burnt in one day.
All my hardwork, seem to have no repay..

Labels: Home .

I miss drawing, sketching.

I miss .. i hate.

I am giving up?

Why wasn't i appreciated?

Can i run away again? From the reality.

Labels: Home .

一直一直得忙着，
我何时才能休息？

我也是人，一个女人。

为什么……
一次又一次，我被丢弃在一旁，
一次又一次，我的努力被隐藏，
一次又一次，我莫名的被定罪，
一次又一次，我的好意被诬陷。

寒一次又一次的努力着，却终是碰钉。
它努力维持天气的阴寒，让雪花不被火红的太阳溶化，
却一再的被雪花唾骂。
一再的保护着所有的雪花，为所有雪花效力，
却换来雪花们的无情无义。
为此着温度不是寒的使命，
却渐渐的被雪花们当成是应该。

当雪花们在埋怨这一切的不满，
他们有没有想过寒的点点滴滴？
当他们在快乐得玩耍时，
成几何时会也拉着寒呢？

“当一个人被伤害后，他不应该以同样的方式伤害别人，应为他，已经知道那伤又多痛”

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Time to grow up.

*sweep* didn't blog for long, shall start from the Conf 3 camp?

Confirmation 3 camp was not bad, but i prefer my batch though, haha! The atmosphere of seriousness wasn't there at all, so have quite hard time to get fulfil the aim. Thank god, i think that the youth started to believe abit of the Holy Spirit on the last day when it falls upon 3 girls. It's the miracle of holy spirit isn't it~, teaching the unbelieve, to believe.

When back home after the Confirmation 3 camp, life started to get hectic again, i miss the pace in camp. Anyway, was rushing on my webby on that very monday. I was totally clueless on where to start on and how to do it. All i know was, i need a dropdown menu etcetc. so slowly, by the help of god, i manage to do finish up my webby nicely by Thursday 4am. Thanks for the guidance, holyspirit.

Hmm, Thursday was hell. 1st thing in the morning, i got my HTML test. The same problem as always, to rush there on time. Scott Jones was a very scary person? haha, he set the rules that all FI and IS student must be at the lecture hall by 9am, or door close and it's rushing us like mad. Okay, so i manage to get there at 8.59 :D with Kai Rong and Yong Liang. Then walk down to the very front, sitting one chair apart. I was quite don'tknowwahttodo cause my book was the old syllabus one, hoping that it won't affect the test i am taking. Somehow i don't know why Yong Liang offer to exchange book with me. HOHOHO~ Ya, so in the end the syllabus of the book doesn't affect in anyway. (By that way, it's HTML open book test, think easy? Not at all!) I didn't manage to finish doing the 1st two question in the end, unable to locate it in the book!

Next, was the Japanese Oral test. I screwed it! LOL. I didn't have time to go memorise the katagana(?) then haix -.-" lolols, there is 4 sections for the Oral test (i guess) i make it through the 1st two and flunk the last two, lols. Anyway, thanks to Jap oral also, we was release early so have about 2 hours break to chiong and compile our webby. *headache*

Heh, so WebApp lesson starts, once again the luckydraw~ , My curse on Yong Liang works! HAHA, Zhen Qing's group draw for the no.1! and my group is 4th~ Haahaa, so we got plenty of time to fix our errors. However, when is our turn to go present, the projector resolution is different from my lappy one~ so.. all our things FLY~! as in the alignment etc. ./haix -.-" lolols. The alignment fly until really very out. Anyway, we're given a second chance though (: Joanna Koh is good.


Compiling, doing..

Done!

After the WebApp lesson, most of us stayed back in the Macs computer lab to ask Joanna Koh for tips of improvement for the webby. During that time, Rachel, Cassie, Chapman and I was also doing group discussion.

2 hours passed, Yong Liang, Jia Ling and I make our trip down to IT Show. Went on a separate route when we reach, Jia Ling went to find her cousin and I went to 6th floor and find Trixie. Was walking here and there and i got a shock to my life when i see .. M, i thought i got over it! I really thought so! But i doubt so. HAHA .__." Times will heal, i believe(?) or maybe not? During that time, i really wonders, am i really going there to find Trixie or to see M? hahas.

Walk, walk and walk, Yong Liang and I found nothing to buy so went down to the 1st floor and get the Giant Candy floss! ^^! It was super sweet laaa the candy floss, then we went for a walk, ended up in the same place -.-" Soooo, actually we walked one BIGBIG round and guess what, Yong Liang didn't know that! LOLOL.

We went to Marina Square's(?) food court and have dinner, Yong Liang brought ALOT of food, in which he can't finish it and ask me to finish! I eat till want to vomit -.-". We went to Singapore river to walkwalk, it's very windy and relaxing. Finally relaxing after chionging project like mad for the week, sitting there for awhile and we on our separate route home.


Candy floss! become so small liao.

 walkingg ~

Marina Square's foodcourt scenery. (The place where IS0902 1st outing.)





Camwhor-ing while waiting for food.

Camwhor-ing while waiting for food.

On friday, during ESSITS, we did our powerpoint project, and i think i done it very nicely! HAHAHA, but then .__." at the same time i receive a bad news that i have to go for an interview for caught cheating. WAHT? lols. -.-" I just lend Yong Liang my file as reference and I become accompliance. ): Haix, I wonder how serious would it be, i didn't know that polytechnic is like 'this', so.. i don't know how, it's just my luck i guess, bad things all knocking on my door. Like my mummy say, treat it as a test from god, a experience to grow.

Saturday morning, i was busy moving my rooms. Arrange my bed, my tables. My Grandma is coming to stay with us soon! :D She will be staying in my room and i am moving into my brother room with a partition inbetween.

Went to church at about 7.30pm, joined the Junior Catechist, Dance floor was opened, and no one was dancing, until Father went with Sheila. Everyone was dancing, they got their partner, except Dorothy, Francesca, Judith and me. Dorothy, Francesca and I questioned ourselves, Do we miss our D.P? and the answer was yes. Yes for the moment. hahas, it's pathetic isn't it? I think so. The girls wanted to dance, but no invitation given! haha!


(:

church toilet.

(:

I missed A (as D.P) dancing jive and waltz together. hahas. but too bad, he is overseas? and even so, i think he's too busy for his studies already. So the possibility for him coming is getting slim and slimmer day by day.

When home together with the girls, hahas, they feel upset, i guess? hahas. They all dressed up very nicely but their D.P wasn't there, they are just like being treated like a vase. hahas.

Sometimes i asked myself, what's happening? why is it like this? Is it my fault for the change? But what did i do wrong? Why is it you people changed so easily? ..

I was never the first nor the last.

Went to church again in the afternoon at about 1.30pm for the funfair, saw my grandma and lao zeh. Was being throwed with ice by Andrew and Samuel -.-" Francesca was also being bullied. Hahaha, then Samuel secretly pass me some ice to let me revenge on Andrew and i did it! WOO~ feel so shoik. Hahas.

Tidy up St.teresa already, which is where i am now. hahas. Tonight was the Feastday dinner, shall blog about it if i feel like it? hahas.



Taken last time at KouFu.

Taken last time at KouFu.

NorthCanteen

Camwhor-ing in the morning before going school,  on  lastlast(?)Tuesday, i guess.

 Camwhor-ing in the morning before going school,  on  lastlast(?)Tuesday, i guess.

comfirm is on thursday.

comfirm is on thursday.

On our way to Suntec!

I caught people throwing a the drinks under the chair! so inconsiderate );

Taken during.. .. TYK lecture last time, i guess.

Taken during.. .. TYK lecture last time, i guess.

Labels: Home .

Okay what?

Got a new camera,
Finished my Wireframe.
Got lot of photos to upload, but too tired.

rawrrr -.-"
Update next time.

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I used to hate my name, but now, i love it.

Marilyn meaning "Wished for".

I doubt my parent know why they chose this name for me, but i believe, is through the grace and miracle of God, my lord.

Quarreled with X yesterday. I was super uber angry and irritated by him at first, until i talk it out with F. I am now thankful to him. I love X, for him giving me the most precious things. We should be thankful for what given, be thankful. X, because of you, i'm now better off. Treasure.

But rather, just to help, "Stop finding reasons for your laziness, and for your own favor (:!"

Camwhoring with Kai Rong, Yong Liang and Edward this afternoon, hah! Lazy to upload the photos. Tomorrow maybe.

Getting back into my holiness ;3

Labels: Home .

I want to run away, as far as possible.
It's so cold out here.

Yesterday,
Teo Yong King lesson was normal. As usual, do some group work. After that, group of us went KouFu and had our lunch (I didn't). Slowly waste time, then we move on to make our way to Edward's condo. Played X-Box for about 30mins to waste time to go down to the billard room, as Edward booked at only 2.30pm.

Was thought how to play Pool by Edward, and i owned him! Weeeeee!(Thanks to the grace of the Lord). Yet, got owned by Kai Rong and Yong Liang later on -.-" haix.
Pictures up later if i manage to caught them on MSN

Next, went back up to Edward's house and had spaghetti (Vegetarian type of spaghetti, for me, because it's Friday ><). tataaa, during our 'dinner time', Edward let us watch a show from AXN, super funny. or rather madness -.-"

Went back to school for Foreign Bodies with Huxley, Kai Rong and Edward. There is alot of people there. Girls and Boys are separated, thank god Nurul was also going for the Audition, if not i would feel so left out, as Cassie was coming late. After signing up the form, went in into their dance studio. First, they showed us a demo of what we should do and we were like 'OHNO!!' -.-" Next, they split us into groups too learn the dance steps.

I can only say, i'm too stupid? I can't catch up with the rest. So yeah, i guess i'm out. Cassie give up when back into the dance studio and for me, i stayed on all the way, dancing infront of the crowd and FB dancer. And so she went off. I don't know how to react, but just byee.. hais. I just feel so delighted to know that Edward was actually outside the Dance Studio waiting for us. (Huxley, Kai Rong and me), If not, i would reallyreally be damn lost(Maybe cry?) Alright, so meet up with Edward, wait for Huxley, Kai Rong, and 2 of Kai Rong's friends.

Then, we went home together. Edward walk a different way from us, so left the 5 of us on the train. Kai Rong and gang dropped at Yishun whereas Huxley dropped off at sembawang. I was so tired do anything, after they all gone, i found a seat for myself and kept damn quiet all the way back home.

Fall asleep once i'm home, about 10.30pm.

Today,
Was suppose to meet the rest(classmate, is0902) at Ang Mo Kio's Macdonald. I did set my alarm, but forgot to switch off the silent mode, so when i woke up, it's already around 1.30pm. Hopefully, could join them tomorrow..

Later on, going for my Grandmother's birthday.

Last but not least,
CONGRATES ANDREW HOME FROM ARMY CAMPP! :333.
-------
I'm so tired, dread to talk. Maybe emo. I got so many things to do..
"Marilyn, stop being emotional."

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我只是一个很普通的女孩，
我也想要朋友的围绕着。

虽然我知道过去已经是过去，
但我已让不能放下。
我害怕，我害怕历史重演。
我害怕，我害怕再度孤独。
我害怕，我害怕人性的丑恶。

我从黑暗，被拉到光明。
习惯了光明，我渐渐失去了我对人的那份怜悯。
对人的热情与关怀，
当我再度快被黑影映照时，
我已经无法回头了，
我失去了我那双温暖的翅膀，
我失去原有的坚强，
原有的毅力。

主，还记得小时候的约定吗？

曾经有个小女孩，
害怕，寂寞，
用这个石头，刻了个十字架，
答应他，只要有朋友，
愿意诚心，
但她失言了，
有了朋友，她忘了诺言。
现在是她实现诺言的时候了。

Thank God for bringing me back when i gone astray.

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(today)I was almost late for school!, or maybe, 3 minutes late for my lecture. Edward and Kai Rong waited for me at the Gloria Jeans, Yong Liang went to LT1 and book the seats. During the lecture, i was sitting with Rachel.

Then after the lecture,4 of us, Huxley, Yong Liang, Kai Rong and I went to Blk L and found out that the lesson venue changed to Blk S! Awww -.-" So late a little once again. Japanese lesson was quite.. fun? Or rather quite hard to get the things inside my brain i guess.

Then during the break time, we went south canteen to eat but i didn't eat. Then later on was WebApp. Learnt how to do photoshop. Aww! Why teacher say 'very good' to everyone ):! Lol, got shoot by Edward because i'm so happy last time when teacher says my work is 'very good' and ended up, she says that to everyone -.-"

Okay, next, break time again. Wanted to go Mcdonald and eat, but no one accompany me. So i didn't eat again. & help out with others to do math.. Maths lesson was.. somehow normal. I was half checking through blogs, half listening. The lecture notes/tutorial that that Ms Lee gave is full of errors! What's make people loves maths is the sense of achivement when the question is solved, and hers?! -.-" She practically just make us moodless.

After school!, walked to MRT station with Suhaimi and Jonathan. Alight with Jonathan at the same station and rush to church. Meet up with Francesca. Suppose to pay Aunty Su 30dollars fine but the ATM at woodgrove is spoilt! ): No choice, but to ask her to give me more time to return the money. Then problemsproblems, finally solved and taken the stuff needed for Saturday event. Oh! and in between that, Aunty Su lower the fine to 15dollars! ♥

Francesca and I then went to eat Mcdonald ;3. After ordering the food at the counter, i found out that my wallet had ZERO dollars! Oh no! ><" Then rush up to the DBS bank up on the second floor of the civic centre to draw money -.-" So embarrassing ):

After that chatchatchat, saw Marcus at CWP. Then Home. Then Kah Fatt showed me something damn cool! http://img512.imageshack.us/img512/198/space.jpg weee!

Alright, tomorrow is Foreign Bodies Audition, May God Bless me!
**Update, Emmanuel screwwed up again ._." JIAYOU! Nehmind! Try again on Year 3!

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Went Dental with Biyu today, it cost me 238bucks! .__.' Hais, still needa to go second time, though a little reluctant.

So today's i was siting with Edward, Yong Liang, Kai Rong and Huxley around the table and 4 of us, Edward, Yong Liang, Kai Rong and Me were msn-ing, lols. Those 3 are really toot laa :X

Right, then next was WebApp practical, was to do up a webpage with HTML. Awww, quite easy actually. But didn't listen to what teacher say, hence i don't know what is relative and absolutive webpage! .___." Then teacher say will minus mark, but don't from where or for waht -.-'

Went to the Woodland dental at the 883 plaza thingy, recommended by Bruno, yet when i reach there prices are the same, expensive and no one is attending to us! :/ so i just call down to Greenlife Dentalcare to book appointment at 3pm. We reach there exactly at 3pm, then to the Dental of course.

After blahblahblah, she told me to do X-ray, so i did. & The dentist found some hidden holes, left and right. So Today, had fill those holes on the right already which cost my 238bucks. & the next time, i guess would be 280bucks T__T!
Heartbreak niaaaa :/

Thankyou Holy Spirit,

yesterday's presentation was well-done! After working on it for 3 days straight ;3.

Day's today was pretty boring. Temperature screening in the morning and afternoon was kind of, irritating? Anyway, 1st tutorial, Teo Yong King lesson was.. pretty okay? Boring part was then the lecture -.-" CMath was fun! As usual, not because of the lecture but because of the sums.

What's next? CSkill, worse of all. I was typically waiting time to past. Ms Yang was so a typical Secondary school teacher. No phone calls allowed during lesson! And please inform to go out of the class, unless it's emergency, if not, no way. Hais, i know it's the basic manner to respect a teacher, or rather tutor. But, we have grown up isn't it o.o?

I don't really know what got into me. I changed a lot, really lot. Happier? Maybe yes. & getting more and more unaware of the feelings of the people around me? - as in super duper straight forward which hurt them straight - I feel so guilty. Guilty of what i have done, and tired of the changes. I no longer see the goodness in the changes i have, other then smiling more then the past?

Right, i'm quite irritated by my mummy just now (as usual). I do change better in some of my behavior? attitude(in some ways which i can see)? But why still didn't she ever see the differences in me? Isn't it not obvious enough(maybe only to me). Hais. I just want her to see that i'm matured already!(though sometimes childish in one way or another -.-).

Got bullied by my brother today, really really make me want to cry. Being forgetful is not my fault ._."

Hais. Nevertheless, the worse for the better. Holy Spirit is guiding me through all the test given to me in life by God. ( Or maybe those things happening is going to fulfil something better and more important! :D ./optimistic)

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HAPPY LABOUR DAY!

Went out with Francesca to do the uncomfirm-ance's presentation. Was suppose to meet her at 10am, but eventually, i overslept again and reach church by 11.10am.
Uncle Anthony was also having his holiday, i guess, the Office wasn't open. So both of us have to go to the coffee corner .__." BUT, i think we made ourselves comfortable? :X

Right, so, I brought my lappy there today! Hoh! I should congrats Francesca being the 1st of J.Cs and H.Ts? to see my mysterious white lappy! :X
Okay, Anyway, we start off doing the presentation, half-way strolled off abit camwhor-ingg :X but still manage to go back to the topic.
















We went to eat A-LA-MEEN as the clock hit 12pm.
2 Egg pratas and 1 Milo dinosaur for both of us.

Then back to church, to continue. She did, but i didn't. I start to touch on my CMaths homework and then my Presentation. OH! Before that she was watching Video's on youtube! So, our conversation eventually moved from RL, into cyber world, MSN.

Okay, after that as the time hit 7.15pm, we pack-up and make our way to CWP. On the way, we saw Brandon :D! and his friend. Then Hi and Bye. Off we go. We walk round and round, trying to find something not meat and cheap. It's friday, you see.. So eventually, we two agreed on buying Sushi and eat under the MRT track there. IDK how to say, but near the railing, that's it.

Look so weird laa as people walk by see-ing us eating our SUSHI. :X Right, so soon after that, we have a small heart to heart chat and off we go. So tomorrow shall meet her at 11am in the morning. ^^.

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It's fun in school.
Yes, fun. Hopefully, it would prolongg.

Haha. Getting more and more familiar with the time-table, but still a bit blur at some of the things.

Went to Orchard with Yong Liang and Edward to buy sandals. I eventually turned away as i reach the NewUrbanMale shop. Aww -.-" The design wasn't that nice :/

What's more?

Chat with Trixie on phone on Tuesday. I missed her lots. ):

Edward and Huxley wasn't in for the basketball trial & they were both uber upset. Hmm, Chang Han also, if i'm not wrong. Heh!

I am trying reallyreally very hard, may the Holy Spirit guide me.

I will keep my promises as a Junior Catechist.




Learnt photoshop on Thursday. Heh! Teacher says mine is sweeeeeet! :X
RAWRRR, shoooo Edward shoooo! ;3



With Edward.

Yong Liang, Me and Rachel.

Kai Rong, Yongliang. together but they send me this. ROFL.
Oh btw, they are sitting side by side -.-"

This is what we usually do while the lesson gets bored! :X
I video call with Edwin Tay Seng Tat too! heh!. He damn funny laa. Rofl.

Oh, I learnt how to write Hiragana already. heh!
Though, the IS02 are still abit blur -.-" Buttt! HOHOHO.
Lol, okay, ./optimistic.

Let the photo do the talking.



WEBAPP lesson. 

Teo Yong King, ESSITS.

His little robot! ;3 DAMN SWEET LAAA.



Early in the morning, meeting up.

Portrait of Suhaimi.

;3

Portrait of KaiRong.

During PROESS.

END ;3

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I really hope that it won't happened again.

Ohkay!, I got manymany things to say, but just too lazy to blog it.

20th April'09.
Quite distant to me already, hmm. Day 1 was fun? Haha! I made my Daddy and Mummy to fetch me to school! HEEEE! Oh course maa, DAY1 of school leh! Important! :X
The whole class agreed to meet at 8.45 at Atrium. Then as i reach, once again i bypass them and free walkshow .___."
Oh! I learned JAVA too!, heh! MS NG quite nice eh. Funnn :3. I can't wait to learn more.

21th April'09.
Quite pissed off early in the morning, cause some people have not reached and we're running late. Then some still don't want to move! or rather go for classes! But then, the 1st lesson was MR Teo lecture. LOL, many wanted to fall asleep liao, but i think quite okayy laa. Next was computing maths. HAHA, sitting beside ZQ was nice. Can ask him everything :X. So far, i think LeeSL somehow resembles Mdm Lee ): Oh! I missed her soso much! .__."
Hahas, during her lesson at the Lecture theatre, everyone was busy doing their maths question, which links me back to my secondary maths class again .__." awwww..
Right, so Binary was what we learnt. It was fun! very. I just got a little confuse by the subtraction then, but now it's alright! heh! ;3 .
Last lesson of the day was Communication Skills by Ms Yang. She's .. :/ quite animated? haha. & I think, she like ZQ and Suhaimi alot. HAHAS. Right, so waht? Oh, i think she's easy to be bullied also? too soft already :/ .
During the night, somehow Yong Liang and I have a debate with Cassie and Rachel. Hahas, cause they think that collecting 12bucks from each and everyone is too much. & provided, going on iceskating also need money, it's consider a big bomb for those financial aids student ._." so, planning wasn't easy!

22th April'09
So, Webapplication for the whole day. Was ask to use Microsoft Visual Studio and i was totally LOST! Then that Jonathan which was beside me, who used before, too engross in doing the coding, totally neglect me! neglect my SOS call actually! Thank God, the lecturer suddenly changed and ask us to make a website using HTML.
HOHO! He's dead. HAHA!:X & now the situation changed! I no need anymore help~ HAHAHA :X. OH then, after the class, Biyu came to my com.lap and find me. Then we happily went to buy Japanese Textbook follow on, CLUB CRAWL. Rawrr!
I joined NYAA, and Foreign Bodies. but Foreign Bodies need audition leh, hopefully i'm good enough for it.. hahas. Right but how? if i can't get in?! I left with no more CCAs ): lolols. So must find one moreee! But then, it's getting late, so Yong Liang, Edward and I went to buy 4 presents for the April babies! We shop for super long to decide on what to buy lo :/ . Keep walking up and down, down and up.
Then when reach home, then know that there's homework for computing math! Awww, do till 2am in the morning ._."

23th April'09
Morning lecture, Scott Jones, L for LOSER! :X. Then is Japanese Class, Chisato Sawai was quite fun la, though :/ I like Japanese class! I do! :X LOLOL. A interest i guess. hahas. Then blahblahblah, lesson till 6pm. Then went home and start on doing the birthday cards! I got super duper big headache on what to draw lo ): . But in the end, hardwork didn't pay off laa. HAHA. but do until 2am in the morning ._." But before i slept, video call with Edward and Yong Liang. HAHA, They say my card not bad wor! :X But they changed their comment the next day after seeing the cards RL ._." ./sad. ROFL.

24th April'09
Can't really wait to go Edward's house and play. But still got class! Mr Teo lesson was really boring ): Must well cancel it, lol, cause i reallyreally see no content in the tutorial. He just practically ask us to go a website and read. That's it -.-"
lolols. But during the lesson, Yong Liang, Edward and Kai Rong mass spam me sms-es laaa! lols, that's an entertainment too, i guess. But i wasted alot sms to reply! .__." Finally, lesson ended! HAHA. Then Edward, Yong Liang and I follow up the plan, find excuses to take a leave and went straight to Edward's condo. After buying things, etc. & waiting for 12pm to come, we went to play Tennis! HAHA. I got free tennis lesson from Edward~. & Yong Liang was the ball picker. Rofl.
Etcetc, we decorate the Billard room and then pick up those KIDS!(classmate :X)
LOL. The charades was fun! HAHA, Especially Yi Yang turn. lolols. Their face was damn funny laaa. Wait for the video~ :X
Anyway, I hope the 3 birthday boy are happy! Rest will be up on www.is0902.blogspot.com for more information! HAHA.

Labels: Home .

我真的能够做到我想象的那样吗?
我真的放了吗？
我真的有那样的大度吗？

那感觉真的很不好受。
我再也不要陷下去了，
再也不要。

我……
其实一直在逃吧。
一直等着时间的愈合。

Labels: Home .

It used to be fun,
It used to be close.
Yet everything changed.
I am not sure;
Am i still the princess?
Or just a stupid witch?

Alright, maybe.
It's 12 O'clock sharp,
I am turning back into the unwanted.

Labels: Home .

Today isn't as good as i though :/

Woke up feeling super uber dizzy, but for the sake of my laptop, force to got up and went down to Funan and fix the stupid battery.
RAWR? It's just 2 days after getting my laptop and problem occurs!

So? When down at 3pm, get home at 8pm. Because of the super bad attitude and LAWBYLAW of the Fujitsu customer service centre, everythings dragged! My mummy got so angry that she start quarrel-ing with them. Worse ..

By then when everything finally settle it's was too late for me to rush to church for my emcee. My mummy say it's too late and asked me to stay home. Super bad i guess, hahas. ): I was so dizzy on the train back home laaa.

But, i think i am uber irresponsible baaa, i don't know. Everything clashes, everything. I was so looking forward to wear my new dress, but everything went into the drain ..

I believe worse for the better. Tomorrow will be better? I guess.

Labels: Home .

I finally got my Lappyyyy!
./Singggg .







Anyway, 1st, IS0902 outingg.
It's was fun! Though alittle bit messy. We didn't plan everything properly hence have to decide on spot. But i don't regret watching MALL COP. It's nice actually. Alright, it's sweet and nice. The fatty was very poorthing actually, he did nothing wrong and got bullied around, just because how he looks, he got lookdown. ): But in the end, he proved his capability!

Alright, back to the topic.

After that, we went to Marina square or what, i don't remember. CITY HALL station. Played Arcade, Pool and bowling there. LOL, i am super addicted to dance the "ParaPara Machine" laaa ;3 lolols. Though hopefully next time outing would be plan before hand and bond better.

Photos please checkup www.is0902.blogspot.com

Right next,
IS0902 Class Tee! Not much to say right now, i need to get Adobe CS4 install 1st then draw out the blueprint of the picture that we're putting up. Of course must be high quality this time ;x.

Follow next, April Showcase!
Other then to perform during april showcase, i was told to do emcee-ing 2 hours before the actual event. WOAH. Lols, though i improved alot. I agreed to do so. ./MIRACLE!. lolols. rawrr. So, it's quite fun. I think i did quite a good job being the emcee ( i guess ), heh i get quite alot of positive feedback ( though it always positive in church ^^ ) HAPPY!.

Didn't get to join Lentern Vigil so i shall jump next to good friday!

I went for 2 eucharist. One with my family and another one with Francesca. After the second eucharist with Francesca, we both camp in Father's office! heh. We did alot of crap inside & what caught our attention was those wooden block thingy like puzzle. lolols. Father T did went out for a while & during that time Francesca and I was camwhore-ing inside. LOL, it's rare opportunity you know! heh. Then Father suddenly come back, frighten us, but eventually we 3 camwhore together! weeee!. lolols. Then Father went home, Francesca and I still stay put try to fix the block puzzle and WE DID IT! ./VICTORY! ^^v :X

Easter Vigil eucharist was nice. Supperrr! ^^. Jonathan was also very naughty. hahas. Alot of people was baptise on that day. It's nice.












































Then after the Easter Vigil, there was a party hold at the auditorium. We were invited of course. heh. Francesca has her partner clarisson and my partner was at HOME! RAWR! ): lols. He parent don't allow him to come. So loneelllyyy .. lolols. Anyway, at the end i did found a subsituted dance partner, MR JOEL SEE! :X







Traaalaaalaaa, only hope that that MR AARON SATAMP LIN could make it for the up-coming Easter Ball.


& I'm getting my lecture notes tomoorrow with IS0902. Weee! And Shopping with JieSi :3
Francesca is super sad laaaa, she wanted to go shopping to buy dress too (She need it), but she just don't have the time! ): ./sayangggg . ;333

Ohoh! Easter Lunch! Rahh. Lolol, J.Cs and H.T went out to have lunch with Father T in a resturant and it's super expensive when the bill comes. Lol, eventually enid's table ( the 3rd table ) was ask to pay the rest that's out of budget. lols. Cause they eat the most!! :X It's fun after all. Andrew was sitting opposite me and keep bully me ): Francesca was being bullied like mad too. LOLOL. She too W.O.L.S alreadyy and it's so funny laaa! She was being accuse of stealing Father's salad which was her's! she still blurblur :/ . Oh & and you believe it? I ordered Kids meal! Oh, i regret so much. I think the pizza look nice ):.











Alright, Most of the photos are "stolen" from my fellow friends (J.Cs) in Facebook. hahas. I am just too lazy to take my LLLAGGGG phone out of my pocket. hahas.

Labels: Home .

Okayy,
Alot of things happened while my computer fall sick and died.
I got alot of things i wanted to babble about, IS0902 outing, IS0902 class tee, My April Showcase Emcee-ing, Easter Vigil Eucharist+party. Lastly up-coming class outing again & Easter Ball! ;3 .

Lots and lots shall, pour it all out when my lappy comes ):

Labels: Home .

Hahas,
Just came back from Confirmation 4 camp yesterday.
./heww.
-Currently listening to Rihanna, Take A Bow on Julius's blog. :3

Facilitated March holiday activity. Went to E.C.P with people from conf 2-4, it's fun~ though. Too bad it rain on that day ): What the most memorable thing was how Steven Michael ( i guess) that group collect rain water to make water bombs. Alright, maybe not just his group but cohort. Is so disgusting! ): Lol, the water bombs are a little yellow in colour! If i were to give the clean-est water bomb award, i think i would give it to Veron's group. Their water bomb damn clean laaa :3. & from waht i heard, one of the group's water bombs is even BLACK in colour! rawrr.

Building of sandcastle was fun too, eventually everyone went into the sea and played after waterbomb-ing and building of sandcastle. It's so funny to see their jaws drop when we told them that we're going to travel by MRT back to church after they are all wet.

BBQ was fun during the evening, but i didn't get to eat much ): . All the food are being snatch so fast! T__T" Yet, the chicken wings really are damn nice :3.
Then, immediately was Movie marathon. I went to St. Teresa after watch Volcano mid-way and help out with Francesca's homework. I slept damn early that day. What i know was, after i slept, Andrew also went to take a nap, followed by Francesca.. so ended up Francesca didn't finish her homework at all! rawr -.-" lols.

After we woke up, went to wash all those BBQ pit etc. We had a hard time doing it laa, so tiring ): ! But i guess Bruno was the most tired one, provided that he's lack of sleep. So after that we woke all the youths up and let them had their Mcdonald Breakfast! :D

Deedeedadaaa -------
After dismissing the youths, Francesca and I went back to St.Teresa. For her, to do her homework and Me to watch movies on Aaron's laptop.
"The Triangle" was so nice to watch laa! lols. The plot was nice, but somehow a little irrelevant. Francesca eventually fall back asleep or rather took a nap again while half-watching the movie and half-doing her homework. LOL.
So later, Andrew back from work to church, pick up his things and we all went to KFC. Then meet-up with Aaron. Back to church, meeting with Sharon. Saw Genevieve etc. who came back for dancing/perheps guided prayer.
Finally home at about 7plus if i'm not wrong.. Tiring!

Then went for Conf 4 camp on Friday.
Help out in facilitating, only Francesca and I.
Soon Dorothy, Aaron, Clarisson, Jeremiah and Bruno came.
It's so cute when the facils acted out a skit for the youths, we put in all sorts of nonsense laa!
./geeee.
Slept late at about 2.30am for the first night cause Francesca, Dorothy and Sheila need to study and if i don't follow, i would be the only one in the dorm! OHNNO!. Anyway, it's fun. Rather then doing homework, i think that we were more like chatting though. lols. The best was when Francesca fall asleep at the table, but Sheila and Andrew tease her. :X The next day i was like a walking zombie. SO TIRED!. And i wanted to sleep ): . Facilitated the Morning prayer, did a really really bad job ): . Didn't stutter but soft and un-clear! wahhhh!.
./hais.
Then deedeedaaadeee..
Went to Media Literacy Workshop in the afternoon at CANA. I think Carl. was quite shock to see me sharing my thoughts and talking. /geeee! hahas. That's was the first and last session that i actually speakup! hohoho~. Sad though. I am lucky though, always in group with Carl and elvyin( is his name though, think so) haha!

Back to CAYC, the dinner was a nightmare for meeee .__." & this time i slept super early. Heh!.
So on and on. Finally back to church, day end at about 5pm :3.


PHOTOSPAM.BEWARE!

March Holiday Activity.

Walkingggg :3

Taking direct bus to E.C.P

On the bus!

daaadaaa.

deeedeee.

Caught cha.

Rainbowww.

&Rainn ♥

Have a lunch before we get there :3.

& of course, LJS!

Underpass to E.C.P

There we are, near~

Doro & Rainbow-Veronicaa.

Walkwalk~

It's raining, so we got here for shelter :3

O.o"

"Gather!"

"Put your bags here"

Rush to get items for scavenger hunt.

slacking :3

Borrowing items from the facil.

Discussing.

Hurry,

lazy.

./Geeee!

We're back!

We're still searching 0:

./emo

Soo?

Solo 1.

Solo 2.

taadaa.

Begging for item.

Still asking.

hais.



*looking~

*Searching.

*Check.

Back to ask :/

Gather!

Time'sup`

WOO o.o"

Mingle-ing.

Score counting.

Score counting.

Score counting.

Score counting.

Score counting.

./Bored.

Score counting.

Score counting.

Score counting.

Score counting.

Chating.

Talking.

Score counting.

Score counting.

Score counting.

Score counting.

Score counting.

Score counting.

BALLON WAR!

Blowblowww.

Settle down.

quiettt.

Stand in a circle and walk!

continueee~

"BOMB!"

Byebyeee ):

Continueee.
*Eventually cause of the noise pollution, we got asked to shift to another location :D!

Clean-er.

Sooo, who lose?

Forfeit timeee :D.

Next iss.. Making of water bomb!

Collectingg water.

*thinking.

RAIN!

Gatheringgg.

Filling bomb bags.

waitinggg.

Filling water bomb baggs

Filling water bomb baggs

./geeee.

Filling water bomb baggs

Eeeewwww.

Filling water bomb baggs

Filling water bomb baggs

Laaalaaa. Here is cleaner.

My bomb bags water are so cleann.

Takinggg.

Oh no, too dirty ):

EEEKkkk :/ yellowwishh.

Don't care.

We are doing our best@! :D

Making in process.

I'm COMING!

Makingggg~

What's up o.o?

Heh, our ultimate dirty water bomb!

Hurry!

Caughtchaa.

No more waterrr ):

Here's our water source..

Seee~

Scopppe.

Scooppee.

Here there is~

There is water here too :D

MR ANDREW ON PHONE CHAT-ING.

See, these our hardwork :D

All mine!

Move it move it.

Movinggg~!

Model : Gen.

Sandcastle building.

Buildingg~

Marking territory.

Push it!

Teamwork.

Pattpatt*Diggdigg*

Nice oneee.

Contineuee :D

Makinggg.

Doingg.

Time losing out.

CHEEZEE!

CHEEZEE!

Slowwlyy, & careful.

CHEEZEE!

CHEEZEE!

CHEEZEE!

Woooo.

My territory.

shooO!

Our UFO.

Triple tower.

dadadaaaaa.

No. 8 ?

?! =.="

Making in process.

Our MOUNT.

Castle.

I predict this is Aaron's feet!

Finish Product.

Finish Product.

Finish Product.

Water bomb START!

Ohoh!

RAHH!

No more bombb ):

Okayy wait.

o.o"

YAY!

Taking my revenge@!

LOL.

./geeee.

./geeee.

./geeee.

./geeee. with Clarisson.

./geeee.

Back to church for BBQ!

Cookinggg.

Slacking.

RAHHH!

Cooking foodd.

grilling?

Enthusiastic

CHEEZEE!

Focus.

Eatt.

CHEEEZEE!

Eattinggg.

CHEEEZEE.1

CHEEEZEE.2

BBQ-ing.

My food.

Francesca!

Takingg.

Sheila and Angelyn.

Seat together.

Novin.

Bruno.

Crazy-like Bruno.

Chatting.

I'm the GuitarKing!

Slacking in St. Teresa.

Slacking in St. Teresa.

Slacking in St. Teresa.

Slacking in St. Teresa.

Homeworkinggg.

Beautiful dayy :3

Mcdonald!

Nicely arranged by Francesca ;3

total, 14 (15 actually)

Came in a BOX. woah.

Confirmation 4 camp

CHEEEZEE, ( Sorry if you got a fright out of this photo ;x)

Sleepinggg..

Saw the watch on Franc's head? :X

Masterpiece of Sheila.

He joined in too -.-"
So, this was how Francesca got bullied :3
Lesson? Don't ever fall asleep anywhere.

Photo with my dad
♥

♥

Photo with Elaine.

I look soo .. -.-

Youth Eucharist poster 1.

Youth Eucharist poster 2.
Total :210 pictures.


Congrats for this being the no.102 post ! :X

Labels: Home .

1. Besides your lips, where is your favourite spot to get kissed?
** Cheeks.
2. How do you feel when you woke up this morning?
** Tired.
3. Who was the last person you took photo with?
** Hmm.. Francesca?
4.Would you consider yourself to be spoiled?
** Yes, a bit.
5.Would you ever donate blood?
** Maybe yes, Maybe not.
6.Have you ever had a best friend who was of the oppsite sex?
** Yes :D
7.Do want someone dead?
** Yes when i'm very angry at that person, Nope when i forget about it :3
8.What does your last text message say?
** NIGHT!
9.What are you thinking of right now?
** When am i going to finish my presentation..
10.Do you wish someone was with you right now?
** Nope.
11.What time did you go to sleep last night?
** 1am?
12.Where did you buy the T-shirt you are wearing now?
** Giordano.
13.Is someone one your mind right now?
** Nope.
14.Who was the last person to text you?
** Andrew.
10 PEOPLE TO TAGGED TO DO THIS QUIZ:
1.Jie Si.
2.Trixie.
3.Aaron.
4.Clarisson.
5.Francesca.
6.Veronica.
7.Edwin.
8.Elaine Foo.
9.Bi Yu.
10.Samuel.
15. Who is 2 having relationship with ?
** No one. Or maybe Miyavi :X ( Not sure the spelling ): )
16. Is 3 a male or a female?
** Male.
17. If 7 & 10 get together will that be a good thing?
** YES! Then i will finally got GAY friends.
18. What is number 1 stuyding about?
** Nursing.
19. Is Number 4 single?
** Yes. ..
20. Say something about Number 5?
** Miss BLUR SOTONG! :X
21. What do you think about Number 3 & 6 being together?
** That would be damn fun! A funny combination ;x
22. Describe Number 9.
** Manga addict!
23. What will you do if Number 6 & 7 fight?
** Stop and reason out with them.
24. Do you like Number 8?
** Yes! :X

Labels: Test .

I am moving on as i had promised.
I am in love with you my Lord.
Though, i might not have the strongest love for you,
But now i'm facing my wrongdoings and repent.

A lot of things are going on, and it's sometimes reallyreally hard to cope. More and more events coming up and more and more issues dragged along. It's was so tiring for a non-schooling person like me already, how about those in J.Cs and M.I? rawrrr. lols.

I have learnt to smile. I have learnt that justice might not be what we sees by our eyes, but with our heart. I am changing for the better, i hope. It's hard to face your sins, it's hard to face the enemies which lies inside you. Are you able to face the wrong things that you have done? Are you able to forgive yourself and your enemies? It's hard, i know. I had put down every bits of hatred now ( as on today only ;x ; hopefully nothing happens tomorrow :3).

Media Literacy really inspired me. Hahas, I forgot what's that guy name, in his ages of 30s i guess. I think he is really funny, i mean, he is more creative then i am! ( not more, is ALOT more, remember how he interpret my group picture depicts.. though is like totally out of point but i never had those ideas in my head before, and never will!) Hmm, well, the people there are mostly adults, and they reallyreally think deep and are creative. I was wow-ed by their active-ness and their mindset. hahaaaa.

The Sister,(Sr Flo, i guess) was a veryvery nice person. Gotten into a group without anyone that i'm close to but then, my group really get the discussion step by steps moving and bringing me along. I don't feel left out, or rather, i am so happy! heh :X Hmm, how do i say, they smile and assure me that they know that i might not feel very comfortable to share but take my timeeee. (:

Still got lots of things to do, hmmm.

Now, i learnt to let go too :3. & Step a side! ^^. Hope things get better and better ! :D

Labels: Home .

Posting photos taken few days back.

Thanks to Jie Si, gotten ticket for the E-awards. Spent hours queue-ing up and waiting to get in the stadium. Well, those celebrities are really good-looking and attractive. Especially my 林峰。
heh.
I didn't manage to take more photo of him cause my battery is running dead.
hahas, sometimes i reallyreally wonder, what am i doing.
On the way home after the E-awards, Trixie and I have the same thought
" So near, yet so far ..."
rofl.



Our Ticket!

$88 for ONE TICKET PER ENTRY!

Seeeee!, lols. How dirty we made the place ;x.

We're the at the front of the line! :x

It's raining, though it doesn't seems to in the photo. Everyone is squeezing under one umbrella.

Those are people who are under the shade ):

Taken at Esplanade's toilet :x

Taken while enjoying the breeze near singapore river ( i think )

Our hope to get 800bucks?

I don't know what it's called, but still just take for fun.

My Our ticket.

Finally in after 8 hours or less i guess.

lalalaaaaa.

Sky getting darker.

What is he holding? A BIGBIGBIG RED BALLOOOONNNN :3 . Never even drop to my there, not even a sec): . haix.

That 2..

Startinggg.

林峰! ♥

JJ Lin :3 Typical Shot.

:3

Guess who!

SHOW LUO!!

Cool right, he is the limelight for the day laaaa! :3

Kawaii~

Super kawaii!

The night of Singapore.

That's the I.R .

-End-
P.s. I'm using my handphone so don't expect high quality photo.

Labels: Home .

哈哈哈哈！
好假的笑声。
虚伪。
人与人之间到底要真么相处？
真真假假，
假假真真。
在这虚空的世界，
我真的很怕。
使我想太多了吗？
因该是吧。

有人了解我吗？
没。
因为，连我自己，
生活了十六年都无法了解真正的自己！

努力，尽力，
做到最好，
做到完美。
好沉重。
完美，
什么才是完美？
为什么？
为什么不管再努力，
始终，终究会被判为零。
我气，我怨。
但又能怎么样呢？
我始终不是那块料。
很快的被推到一边，
被遗忘。
是命运吧。
是注定的。
我不愿意接纳，
也不愿意相信。

我祈祷着，
祈祷着一个守护者，
但，我放弃了。
我知道，
我身边其实以经有着一个世界上最完美的守护者，
他就是主。
但，我无法接纳。
我无法见到他，
我无法触碰到他，
我无法听到他的声音，
我无法感觉到他的存在。
种种的无法，
令人难以记得他的存在。
而难以淹没我心中的恐惧。

为何我是这样的一种人？
为何我要拿么的努力？
为何我会想那么多？
为何我那么笨？
……

--------------------
I'm reallyreally thankful to what happening this morning,
without my Lord, i don't really know how am i suppose to face anyone this long day.
Arigatou!
-A is able to make it for all the coming dancing lesson!! 3 cheers for him!
-Had to come out with a dance routine, though it's exciting, but to on and pause the videos, it makes me feeling alittle down.
-Had to do my presentation, butbutbut I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO PUT, AND HOW TO START! Too many information for me to pick and choose.
-Break a promise that i made to A(another one). Seeing the hurt i made, i regretted. I'm too following my emotions, needa change. But too tired to do it.
-Worried 'bout my hair, it's getting on my nerves on how my fringe is! So ugly!
-Wanted made a list for what i wanted to buy, but too tired.. lazy for tonight :3
^^.
Hais
I wonder would i get smarter if i think more and more or would i gets dumb-er :/

Labels: Home .

闷，
一个字。
很怪的是，它会让你想起很多事。
很多，你一直以来在逃避的事。
一连串的闪过你眼前，
一连串的勾起最深处的回忆。
如果，没有经过那些点点滴滴，
我还会是如此的我吗？
那我会比现在好，还是坏呢？

有好就有坏吧，
幸福的家，却有磨灭不掉的不小心，
幸福的同年，却四分五裂，从光变羞。
恐怖的欺凌，变成了如今的武器。
小时的祈祷，应验却忘怀。
对不起，我的主。
幸福的中学年，只有07.08。
但“幸福”这字还是要负起代价。
人生三大情，
情感的背叛如此让人心疼。
第一次的宣誓，却换来得是一场赌局。
它很美，很美。真的。
第一次的背叛，换来了心碎。
我流泪。两滴。
第一次的绝交，是突如其来的。
6 人一次过的背叛，电话里的笑声。
为了一个最不值得人。
友情阿，对。
我从来都没被列入过。
如此的重视，却换来了最痛的伤。
滴过的无数的眼泪已蒸发，我不恨。

小时所说的话还能兑现吗？
我的支柱，我放你走了。
我说过无数遍，
但这次是真的了。
不在眷恋，不再留恋。
对不起，我太过依赖。
就那一句话吧。

回顾以前的点点滴滴，
我的嘴角不仅上扬。
那是多么的幸福啊。
谢谢你，我的主。

你知道吗，
我很感谢你，
虽然是伤，恐怖，噩梦。
但如果时间能导流，
我还是会要重来。

现在我会要快乐。
快快乐乐的。
-----------------------
Boredboredbored :/

./Tu-douingg,

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再度封闭的门.

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Rah!
So damn tired today..
I don't really know what am i thinking of!
Just feel that i need more creativity!
I wonder what am i reallyreally good at ?

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我很幸福，
但我不快乐。

虚拟世界的东西都是假的，
我知道。但除了在虚拟世界度过珍贵的光阴，我真的不知道还能捉什么。
我被拉出虚拟世界，
回到真实。但真实却不得不让我缩回去。

每个人，现在，都开始忙碌起来。
朋友也开始做工，上学。我能？
可能，再见面也说不上几句了……

我还在原地踏步，
因为我没有梦想，
因为我不想，
所以我没用。
我不快乐。

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Isn't she pretty?
BJD reaaaaally got me addicted!

Played Audition for the past few days. Lose the skills, no more 40+ perfect nor chance 6.
RAHH! Worst of all, i no longer even addicted to it.
Which means, NOW i am NOT even interested in any game. Online game. hais
Waiting for 2 whole months before my Poly starts is bored, playing online games for me is more BORED.
Maybe i really shall start on doing my preparation for the Interviews with Fr. Terence.
LALALAA

Heh, though sick of Audition & Maplestory. I go into Pet Society! :D .
LOLS. Spending hard time to level and earn lots of money to buy furniture ..
All i need is MORE contacts!! LOLs.
Stupid A got 120+ contacts and i got only pathetic 51 contacts -.-". rawr Most friends around me are too matured i guess.. Why so matured!@#%^
ROFL.

Gotta Gift from Ken korkor, Edwin, and Qian Wen today. ♥
So kind of them.
./give them a hug! ;3

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._."

Right, i let my brother's registered postage run away today. I feel so guilty. Putting myself in his place, i would comfirm get super upset over it. rahh!, gomenasai eh. Next time i will run to the door as quickly as possible ): .

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T__________________T"
Slept at 7am, woke up at 5pm.

A last warning say i must wake up at 12pm tomorrow ..
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
T___T!

He sound so stern and serious laaaaa .__."

Right, i guess F damn sad today, spolit her 3rd handphone and 1st handphone of the year 2009. & got pangseh by me ): .

Totally nothing much to blog, watched MIB I and MIB II yesterday. Lame, i know, but i got nothing to do!. Don't even want to touch Audition.

Hais! x 100!

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I NEED A JOB!

Right :/ My life getting soooo boringggg!
I can't going on like this for the next 3 months holiday. I will rot.

Haiyo!

可能是注定。注定。不管在努力，也永远走不出去。
我因该知足，至少我很幸福。

我是个不知足的小孩吧。

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KUNG HEI FATT CHOI! :3

Still too soon to say that but, i just like the pronunciation of it !
Especially in dialects :x

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刚回来时本来很生气，厌恶的。 但搜到我等待已久的衣服，我的气随之消掉了。

在他们眼中，我是个没责任感，不懂得珍惜东西的人。
在他们眼中，我所认为重要的是他们认为白痴的。

有时候，我不知道该怎么跟他们说。 说实话，只会让他们有机会挖苦我，说我这，说我那。 不说实话，至少能省多点口水。可能挖苦已经成为了他们对爱的表达方式，但我不喜欢。他们太过头了。
他们很爱我，我知道。我也爱他们。但，我要怎么跟他们沟通能？他们好的时候，真的让人快乐如神仙，但不好的时候，却是犹如地狱般。

我多么希望我能够在思想简单点。多想一点傻傻的点子，这样别人会因我而笑。就因为我，不懂得表达，不懂得说话所以不管在努力，目光总是不会往我这瞄。我的努力怎么好象总是被唾弃呀？咳……
如果，我的思想再古怪一点，可能我会被爱多点吧……

在我心里，令我最伤心的是被遗忘，被忽视，被冷落。小时候，一位姐姐曾经跟我说，人家不管如何伤害你，都不可以用同样的方式伤害人，因为你已经知道被伤害的滋味。也有一句话是这么说的，你怎么对人，人就怎么对你。不再相信这句话了……
为什么他记得帮其他人却会忘了我能？我也在他眼前啊！我不明白，我想不通。
你知道我一生中最害怕的是什么吗？是寂寞。

我能说这一切是命吗？不能。我能说因为我是个烂天主教子民吗？能。

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Sometimes i question, to believe or not.

Alright, finally summit my JAE form.
Let the wheel of fortune spin!

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I know God will always be by my side, Jesus will always be there available.

How i wish, just wish, i am talented in business, IT or science then Art. Is it really that Art have no future? Right, give up. Either Accounting or Marketing. Choose one.
Think of the bright side! I can get my 1st laptop .. ..
I can earn a living and not starve to death ..
I got a bright future ..
I just want something i enjoy, i don't regret. Something i enjoy as much as Art.

Browse through DeviantArt to find some relevant pictures for friends. I fall in love with Ball-jointed Dolls!
Especially Mikan and Endry!





KAWAII RIGHT!@#, chuu!.

Mikannn!!

Chuuu. I like the girl's hair ):

This suppose to be scene which the girl threatening the guy and it ended up.. LOL.

My ENDRY. ;x He just look so.. cool.

Big Mikan and small Mikan ..

No idea who is this, most probably Mikan. See, even he study also look so cool ;x.


What's my dream? What's my goal? What's my ambition?
I have nothing.

Pictures of Trixie and me ♥.



Taken at Pasta Mania ( Choa Chu Kang, Lot 1 Shopping Mall)

♥!

Trixie stole my specs! ;x

taaadaaaa ..

She look damn nice in this picture !

1st picture ~

2nd, what's the difference? That girl doesn't look like me at all -.-"

lols. i think my nose is biggg ..

Chuuu, My face fits in.

Cheeeseeee.

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Message from T:
Marilyn . i read your email . and i am really touched . that point of time , i am really very angry . and i apologise on using harsh words on you too . i really hope you wouldnt mind the past . and we can start afresh as bestfriend agn . Trust me , i'll be there whenever you need me .
Even thou , you've graduated . we can always meet up whenever you like . we can still go back to the past like we used too . Chiongging our no life maple & audi tght , went shopping for clothes and studying together . :D . Lets go back ok ? :] -loves

I am also very touch, thanks. I will make sure you pass all the rest of the subjects for your next year 'O's except English which i can't help.

F said something really funny. Father's fishes had all died after we help him to clean the tank. She say we need go confession..
RALY: So we cannot eat fish, cannot eat meat liao lo.
F: Ya hor..
RALY: Then we be vegetarian then.
F: Cannot! Like that plant = animals food, no food also will die. Like that also killing! .. etc -.-"
RALY: -.-"
F: Like this also cannot!
F: Then how? Haiz.

Lols,

Just want to be a little stronger..

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Got my result this afternoon, L1R4 15 points. Got a D7 for my weakest English. Now left with no route, not exactly no route, just that none is to my interest. Even if it does, there seems to be a barrier for me to choose it. My future seems so misty, i can't see where i belong to, and where should i go.

Design, i have no confidence in my Art. IT, i have to update myself consistently. Science, they might just hope that i don't mix the wrong chemical.

Where can i go where a D7 ?! I hate it.

After getting result for my 'O's, i went out with Trixie. Today isn't the best nor the worst. At the least, i made up with her. I said my sorry which i wanted to say so much.

We went to have Pasta Mania, and of course shop. Just to get me out of that headache situation. Camwhore a little. Soon update the pictures. I know i shouldn't say this, i got much better results then more people close to me, but i seriously have no idea where to go.

Rawr, why can't i just do better for my English. If i got a A2, it would be 10 points and JCs is comfirm in.

Right, i made my mummy worried. Damn worried. Design course might really be out of consideration. Why am i such an idiot? I am seriously good for nothing, no goal, no ambition. Nothing interest me and will keep my fire burning.

So what i got the rest As and Bs. I got just pulled down by that idiot ENGLISH.

I hate stepping out of the room. Why is it that even i got my 'O' level result my future still so unclear? What do i really want?

Haix..

I hope F feels better now, and congrats D. :D

Now, i shall find something that won't starve me to death.
Pictures will be up later if i got the mood.
Maybe re-install Audition if i want to be back a no life-r.

Thanks for all who sms-ed me and concern me, it really shock me that there is actually so many people are concern about me, or maybe the result.

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I am practically in super emo mood now. Maybe not, just feel like doing things and keep myself occupied.

Went for Eucharist this afternoon but i wasn't really paying attention. Sorry, I feel so bad about it. Moreover, i eventually made my Mum quiet sad today. RAWR! I don't know what got into me. Don't even know why i'm doing such stupid things.
Though my mum still worried about my health, ask me this ask me that, concern about this and that. This made me feel so bad.

As soon as i reach home after church and lunch, i went to sleep immediately.
- This time, they didn't wake me up, they know i'm too tired. I guess.

I received my POSB card already. My name," MARILYN CHUA MIN XUAN " is also entitled on the card. Right, it's so pretty, yesh. This card only belongs to a girl called MARILYN, no one dare to steal it from me. ;3

I think i'm used to one meal per day. Now i don 't really have the mood to eat my dinner. Rawrrr! I think i'm totally affected by the release of results tomorrow.
Why can't i just get my results now, or some idiots just tell me :" Hey Marilyn, you had failed your 'O's. You have gotten 30 points for your L1R4. Just go hell and redo your secondary" . -Touchwood.

I really really wanted to get a very very good result that my parents can be at least proud of. Wanted to get in Anderson Junior College and wear that super pretty P.E T-shirt. How i wish i am at least more intelligent. Good in anything, especially my English.
I am useless i think, to be affected so easily..
Why can't Chinese be used as the 1st language? Rahh, i don't know.

I really really wish my L1R5 to get 7/8 points.
Though i know it's really impossible for my English to get a A2. I'm sorry for my bad english.

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Have a nice chat with Clarisson last night,
He was playing/trying out with his WebCam so i eventually take ScreenShot.
-It's been so long since the last time we all see him!

He's hair is long again,puffypuffy, and he is using laptop which i wanted so much!
& he got new handphone, new geekyspecs. Rawrrr!.

To Clarisson:
Are you surprise? I had been taking SS since the very 1st moment ;x
rahhh! Forgot to say this last night,
"Though Hammy is dead, but he/she is enjoying happily up there! There is unlimited food for Hammy to eat :D Hammy can also find a partner there and make a lot of baby angel hammy! ♥."


I totally cannot see him! & I can't figure out what's happening.


Can see his jacket already? the big white "F" .


Right, he say he is too shy to show himself. xD. SHY ~.


I took this as he was shifting his Webcam, see! So messy! He is a guy anyway ~


Sorry for the poor quality, that's him! *clapp! He finally show himself, he's hair is messy, so he try to cover it with a .. -I don't know what it call-!. If i'm not wrong, he even cover his eyes .. LOL, =.="


Alright, he took this that thing out. Can see his hair? :X LOOL, He's smiling i think :D. SMILE!


He's typing ~/concentrating on the screen. Heh!


Heh' Chattinggg, Msn .


This is his relative, is a boy i think. Yeapps, it's a boy! Amaze right! His eye-lashes is so long, it's so easy to mistaken him as girl by his side view eh, but even if he become girl, he would be damn pretty i guess.


Clarisson's cousin! Cute? Sorry for the poor quality, but she's damn kawaii laa! So sweet.


The quality really damn bad! Her smile is damn sweet, will make you smile too :D
Maybe for all children are like this, sweet little innocent angel!
Can you see Clarisson's white teeth? :x
Both of them are actually smiling, so sweet .. really.


Right, i remember i said something wrong, something about 'butt' i guess, that's why he pointed his finger ):. Don't worry it's not middle finger, it's those kind of hand signal saying " That's it ~"


Lol, he is wearing his hat and geeek specs, can see? Like a hip-hop dancer, don't he?


THE LAPPY !
Oh.. I seriously can't wait for March to come ):.
He's lappy is so nice right? rawrrr!

When you surface from the darkwater, you will gain a pair of white wings.

Each person holds a bucket to hold water in life, when it's full, it's time to pour out. People who grab hold of it will be chain by rocks. People who empty it frequently would given shoes of wings.

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Woke up by a call from DBS bank this afternoon regarding my lost wallet.
-weird.

Maybe the Police saw my Bank receipt (account no.), made a call down to DBS and since DBS had to keep it's client personal information safe and secure they didn't want to give my phone no. away, hence called me personally :D.
It's just MAYBE only, i doesn't know the truth.

Someone found my wallet!


Thank god.

I was told by the DBS customer service agent to contact Sergeant Long in regards of the case -Awwww, i'm scared!. Things are getting complicated. After some struggle, i made a call to Toa Payoh Police Station. -I can't even really speak properly ): . Anyway! I was told to go down to Toa Payoh Police Station to retrive my wallet.

So, i get my parents to bring me down :D - easy travel .
-I didn't speak properly either when i reach the Police Station's counter.
RALY : "I.. I am .. Marilyn, i .. got a call from the DBS bank regards my .. wallet is .."
Sergeant Long: "Ohokay, Wait a minute, You can have a seat 1st at the moment."
Right, he cut in half way before i could finish.

The 1st police officer met face to face, talk and i retrive my item from is called Mr. Long Jieh Liang, a chinese. He's handwriting is much like drawing, not really nice but readable.

As i went there, make my identity clear, Sergeant Long went into a room and brought a HUGE THICKTHICK BOOK out. Nothing had been lost/stolen.
My sweet blue 50 bucks is still in perfect condition. Ez-link card is there and my NETS :/ - though it had been canceled already. After verifying nothing is lost, i was made to sign on the thick green book and a piece of paper. Right, that it's i can bring my wallet home :D. Quite tedious procedure to do though :/

Eventually, a student from Ngee Ann Polytechnic found my wallet and reported it to the police.
I once said that I'm not going to Ngee Ann Polytechnic because i had lost my wallet on my 1st visit . Ngee Ann is comfirm out of consideration, then now how? must i comfirm get in Ngee Ann ? :X

*Actually, tracking back to the day i lost my wallet. I did not feel anything, i am not anxious nor anything. Just calmly walk back to the building, calmly proceed to the Student Service Center and calmly sit on the bus and joke with my fellow friends. Jesus is with me, all the time. Through Aaron and my friends. He kept me safe till home and bring my wallet back to me.
Thankyou, LORD ♥

After that, went to LimBang to visit R since my parents wanted to have lunch there. He is such a slacker! I thought he would be busy, lols. Ended up, i saw him sitting against the wall playing with his phone. Rawrr .
My parents was like, " People at least made the effort to find job and earn some pocket money, unlike this princess here, don't even appreciate how blessed she is. "
RALY : But he is practically slacking right :/!
Parent : At least he got paid while slacking .. .
Come to think of it, it's really quite true. Right, i lose to my mummy again.
RALY: But i can't carry that box of Coca-cola! Not even one ..
Alright, i lost. My stands and point are weak. That's why i can't write argumentative! ):

taaadaaa, 10 January'09
As i woke up this afternoon, my handphone was bombed with 180+ smses and 170+ calls by A. After i bath, prepared, he said everything is done, there is no need for me to go church and help out liao .. -.-"
Clear my room with my mummy, and it's clean and nice. Totally feel spacious and new now.
Forgot to answer X.W's call and he didn't answer mine either, angry maybe. Since it's not the 1st time.
I owe F one sweet cause she guessed correctly what's my purpose for visiting the police station.

My mummy finally agree on getting me a laptop! YAY!, but must wait till March for the IT show ): . I can't wait to bring my lappy around Singapore, to church, Mcdonald, School, Mrt etc ;3 .

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One night a man had a dream,
he had a dream that he was walking along the beach with the Lord,
Across the sky flashed scenes of his life.
for each scene, he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand,
one of which was his and the other belonged to the Lord,
When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back,
noticing that many times along the path of his life,
there was only ONE set of footprints.

He also noticed that it happened only hen it seemed to be some of the saddest parts of his life.

This bothered him dearly, and he questioned the Lord about it, "Lord, you that once i decided to follow you, you'd never leave me and walk with me all the way but i notice that during the most troublesome of times in my life there is only one set of footprints, i don't understand why when i needed you the most you would leave me?"

The Lord Replied,
"My precious, precious child, I LOVE YOU, and i would NEVER LEAVE YOU,
during your times of trial and suffering, when you only saw one set of footprints in the sand, do know that those were the times i carried you.

Copy from Clarisson's blog ;3

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I spent 130 bucks altogether ):
-Finally go out shopping with J.S after promising more then 2months.
-I eventually made it for shopping after losing my wallet :X

1st, went to Singapore Polytechnic's Open house with R and J.S at 10am, miracle right?. We're like idiot there, totally lost in SP, as soon as we get in. I don't know whether we should go left go right, into the Auditorium or the tent which they showcase their project work. But in the end we manage to find a way. Going SP is suppose to let us have more understanding of the courses they have, but R and J.S seems to be totally uninterested, ohh ._." . So eventually, the whole atmosphere turned very out. The most classic one is that when the exhibitor ask whether we have any doubts or question, R asked where can we get the goodies bag .. It's so embarrassing! and because i had lost my wallet, my Ez-link, i was almost ineligible to redeem my goodies bag ): .

Since we have so much time to slack + not in mood to ask about the courses, 3 of us went on a SP exploration trip! - to find Macdonald :D and eventually got lost. R who by then proclaim himself as the principal of SP said that he know the route back to Dover Mrt station. So we followed, and yeah, he brought us near Bourna Vista* Mrt station instead.
- so now, i'm the Principal and he is the floor sweeper :D

After all the craps, we headed down to town. Didn't see F at all. R then pangseh us at Tonjong Paga* and elope with S.H!

J.S and I went down to Far East Plaza and eat Moku.Moku before we shop! The Chawamushi is reaaaaaaaaaaaaaally damn nice ;33! & We are the 1st customer of the day! :D . J.S is 1st customer of the 2nd machine (2001) and i'm the 1st customer of the 1st machine (1001). weeeeeeeeeeee! 1st, 1st ,1st ~

Right, so our 1st station is STAGE [S] shop. (The salesgirls -taiwan- are really pretty). J.S eventually bought a grey pudding t-shirt which cost 63 bucks. o.o!
After shopping for 1 hour or so, we each both have a bag in hand, her shirt and my New Future Skinnies which cost me $39.90. We headed down to bugis :D!

We had our $10 spree there, and I spent up till 45 bucks - 4 items. Since no nets is allowed, i get all my cash from J.S.
&Bugis street is so sqqquuueeeeezzzyyy even during weekdays ):!

After that we went back to Bugis Junction Swensen to enjoy Student Meal, A Hawaiian Pizza and 2 ice-cream. It cost us each $10.65. The seats that are given to us are so COLD. I was shivering after 5mins .. and J.S too, just a little bit slower then me ;3
Anyway, Swensen's GoldRush, Sticky Chocolate and Chocolate is so YUMMY! Hawaiian Pizza so very tasty. I really enjoy it.

Last station of the day, thewalletshop. I saw so many kuku wallet laa, got resembles envelope and etc.! But i ended up with a MYUK pink,white,silver contrast wallet. I don't know whether it's the newest design but just like it :D.

So practically i just loose one fifty cent coin today cause i dropped it. The rest are perfect.

J.S, I love you! as friend :X( Shopping Queen )
Thankyou ~
I doubt i will be home now without her, most probably lost in Orchard.
I doubt i can keep an eye on my belongings without her helping me carry my bulky items when i check my bags.
I doubt i can enjoy shopping without shopping tips.

Anyway, until i reached home then i realise that all the things i bought are once again black and white. I just don't know why! And i got nagged by my mummy again .. rawrrr`
I did one thing on my checklist only, argh. Nehmind, it's not important.

Now, i need to find some backup courses to prepare if i didn't do well for 'O's.
Need to look into what can do for my slides 1st in the meanwhile.
Revise my creed & notes taken last year.

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Things that i must buy tomorrow,

x. Wallet.
x. Thumbdrive - nice one.
x. Slingbag?
x. Mechanical Pencil.
x. A bracelet? -maybe.

That's all i guess.

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测你一生爱几次??

你的真心人就是那么一个，永永远远的那样一个。从此以后，不论你再遇见谁，跟谁在一起，你再也不会对其他人有以前那个人那样的上心。人是很奇怪的东西，没有 理由的相遇。没有理由的萌生爱意。也许爱一个人很简单，但是总想起的还是他好，还是那个他没有任何毛病。在你心中永远完美。就象《东京爱情故事》中的莉 香，永远的微笑着，成为一个美好的标志。

Credit : http://www.cewoo.com/ceshi/Love/200712/20071214788.html

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Maybe 08 January'09 is actually that bad ..

I am in-charge of slides!
WEEEEEYOOOOOOOOOOYAYAYYYYY! ;D
Not 2nd reading anymore!
tra-lala!

♥GOD.

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I lost my wallet!

Went to Ngee Ann Polytechnic's open house with E, R, I, G.L, C.X, H, I, C.F -practically all boys. The 1st thing we get there is to get our Free gifts!. Alright, they really changed a lot through the holidays and R dyed his hair! Omgggoshh, i wish i dye too, though mine is already natural brown but it's not so obvious and nice.

I found F and the Ourspace@72 enjoying her cakes/slacking. She is with her girl friends, i emphasize on GIRL is because i go with all BOY. This is ridiculous ): . Or rather, i have no much girls contact and not much girl-friend.

After that when to the conventional hall -i think- and get a better knowledge of different courses. Practically for now, i am quite interested in going for Engineering and Accountancy. Right, For engineering, i want to learn Internet Security blahblahblah, whatever that link with the Design, Media etc. It's really so interesting!

Ohyeah, After that we went to the MAKAN PLACE to makan. We found Y.Y, B.Y, E, K.K! there. Oh right, so i didn't get invited ): . I don't know why, i am always consider as a acquantinces then friends. For girls, they never like to invite me to go anywhere. I went up to them and have a nice chat and when i turn around the rest just disappear! Rawrrr. I think i need to get a new pair of specs, something hi-tech, good for tracking. Anyway, Aaron Chng joined us soon. I have no idea what guys are thinking, how can they become friends so easy! My friend and Aaron seems to go along well =.=".

And then my stomach starts to ache. So i eventually pop-ed a Panadol active fast with empty stomach. -Panadol active fast doesn't help me always, maybe it just ease the slightest pain only, not as good and the normal Panadol white tablets ): .

So then lalala, hang around at the MAKAN PLACE, i seriously have no idea what C.X, C.F, E, J , they doing. I think they just go to NP for the sake of the food there. So as they finish eating, they went to watch movie .. rawrrr .

A and I soon break off from the cliques and went strolling around the campus. We meet up with F soon later and intend to head to church, and yes. Before i walk out of the campus something ring the headbell. MY WALLET IS MISSING.

Tracking back to the place i last have my wallet - girls' toilet. By the time i remember and rush back is aready 1 - 1.30hours ago .. Yes, i can't find my wallet!. This is my year 2009! Though i lost it, i feel perfectly calm though. Maybe is because i am too used to losing my stuff. Usually i would find my wallet back after i had lost it -like the KFC incident?- but this time is really THE END.
God is usually with me and help me find my wallet, but this time he show me something much more important. A is with me through out the whole day, even when i lost my wallet, he made the effort to help me ask the L&F counter, find me the contacts for POSB bank C.S.C hotline. It's just like how god would be with me all the time. I doubt i can get home without the help of A financially and emotionally? support.

Going out with those guys (my classmate/schoolmate) is reallyreally fun. As in, they really full of craps that you don't know whether to laugh or cry. They did offer help, and thought of treating me arcade as we reach WestMall.

So i didn't went for the meeting to prepare for Youth Eucharist, cause i doubt my mummy would be happy after i lost my wallet and stay out late. As i said Panadol active fast didn't really help me get away with those pain, i pop-ed another Panadol tablet after i reach home and sleep soon after that.

08 January'09 ,
Worst day in the 2009.

Wallet say byebyee, and Handphone having temper. ):!
Now i wonder, how do i go shopping tomorrow .. ?
No wallet, no ez-link, no cash.

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Rawrr! .

My phone is getting screwed!
It cannot sms anymore, it cannot call out anymore, and neither i know whether it can still receive sms and calls!
Dead man. This is the worse day of 2009.

Wait, maybe not. If i manage to get my mummy to change one, it would be the best day!
Alright, eventually my handphone got back alife :DDD .
So shall push back the plan ..

Rofl, Ricson and Edwin so freaking funny. Or maybe is i getting kisiao since i'm rotting at home.
I am in cloud nine now, finally! Reunion with my classmate, 1st meet up after 'O' level -.-"
and tomorrow shopping with Jie Si!
tra-la-la.
NP/SP on the waaaaaaaay :3

Hopefully, i don't burnt a hole in my pocket before Lunar New Year.

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1956, 1968, 1980, 1992, 2004
People born in the Year of the Monkey are the erratic geniuses of the cycle. Clever, skillful, and flexible, they are remarkably inventive and original and can solve the most difficult problems with ease. There are few fields in which Monkey people wouldn't be successful but they have a disconcerting habit of being too agreeable. They want to do things now, and if they cannot get started immediately, they become discouraged and sometimes leave their projects.
-Absolutely true! .

Labels: Test .

I think i seems had to switch into nocturnal mode already, i just can't seems to sleep at night and stay awake during the day.

Actually i was suppose to go for Polytechnic's open house with I today but i can't seems to sleep till 8.30am! So eventually, i canceled the trip. Hopefully, i might wake up early and go for SP open house.

I woke up at 6pm then. Eat my only meal for the day and start working on Andrew's blogskin.
I am not a pro blogskin maker nor a good Photoshop-er. I am just a starter.
I went on in my storage to find some base code that i think might suit him, yeah, eventually my hard work didn't paid off. However, to start, i 1st need some pictures to emphasize on his ELEMENT. So i thought of using Photoshop - which i am weak in. After about few hours? Finding suitable brushes and pictures, squeezing my limited brain cell with limited designer genes, I finally come out with my very 1st master piece.



After that, i follow on to edit and put in all the information and words. Yet, it seems so odd! It's ugly i know. ):
I never bother to go read Photoshop tuitorial. I don't know why, i just favor Paint more then Photoshop.
Anyway, i eventually turn my gear towards DeviantArt and search for relevant pictures that i would want to put up. I hate going into DeviantArt, as it will always get me addicted and have urge to pick a pencil and draw.

As i was scanning through each and every picture, i wish a got a 20x mega pixel camera and a supreme Photoshop skills.


She's so preetttyyyy .

& happyy.

I wanted to have this dress!
Though it might be too long for my height ): .
But it's lovely!

♥.

I prefer this, snow-white, pure and sweet.

This were those few pictures that caught my eyes and really, I promise. I am going to buy another sketchbook and pencil (which got stolen, i think) when i got time to visit the popular again, and in mood to draw.

Alright, and so i manage to find


Taadaaaa ..
Though it does not really link to his URL but i think it's meaningful (:
Similarly it has the correct size and colour so i does not need to edit anythinggg ~.

So that's was my 07 January'09 - though now is 08 Jan.
Hopefully, i get good results for my 'O' levels. & my bear is finally back in my room.

And lastly, my MozillaFirefox stop CRASHING!

Credit :
http://littlemewhatever.deviantart.com/
http://klairy.deviantart.com/
http://frida-vl.deviantart.com/
http://junehee.deviantart.com/
http://avividcrystal.deviantart.com/

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Blogskin is done :D.
New year, New hope, New blogskin!

Alright, now start to upload photos & soon blogskin for Andrew i think :/

Comfimation Night.


Talkingtalkingtalkingawaaaaaaayy~

Alright, nice shot.(though i'm ugly)

Comfirmant: Princess Yvette! :3 Prince David.

What's your expression .. argh!

Rofl, David&Priscilla.

FR.TERENCE!♥

Prince and Princess

:DDD . But not my Prince charming :X

Slackers -.-"

Aloneeeeeeeeeeeeee.

YAY~, took this at11+am if i am not wrong. 1st photo with Fr.Terence.

Dancing Lesson!


Cheeeze..

& Twiiiseettt

Days before New Year's Ball = 24th December'08


Got bullied by these 2 siblings.

Our Dancing shoes!

You can't see meee ~

My Christmas present!

Booooooo~

How big is it? try comparing it ;3


New Year's Ball! 31st December'08!


Taken on the 1st Jan'09!

Caught chaa~

cheeezzzyyytraaaalaaaa.

Standstill.

and POSE.

Clarisson got in.

Weeee, kawaii nehh! But i don't know where i'm looking~

Chuuuu~ pig face.

twist in no mood?


J.Cs in!

Too bad, there is no Priscilla ):

Muuuuuuaaakkk? 2 by 2 pleaseeee .

Standstill..

tadaaa~ Up in the sky, look at the starless sky!

The Girls! and a extra ;(

Got bullied -.-

Night lighting :D

1st shot, without Judith.

Full shot but without Jeremiah and Priscilla ): and Bruno!

And a Clown behind ;x

Nice shot! ♥

We're actually sitting on 2 Aaron, Andrew and maybe Clarisson laps, xD cannot see right? ;3

Journey with St. Anthony.
At the Botanic garden.

smile.

smile.

smile

rahh! Clarisson fall asleep!

Took this at about 7-8pm. Travel around singapore, make sure we clean the botanic garden before we left. I was so smelly after the activity ): .

SP familiarisation .. i forgot :/


My 1st time aboard ! :D

& it's damn cool !!

Youth Eucharist


I look like an old aunty :(

Taken at Woodland Mrt Station Escalator .

Joesph, Mary and Baby Jesus.
Our Set up on that dayyy.

Traaalaaaa.

It's shirt is pink in colour but not me~, Francesca there ;3

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I am feeling so sick, my world is moving and never still.

After so long, I found that i am the one whom is not moving on. I am the only one who is still grieving over what had happened. Yes, i never want to move on ever since my world lights off. It's so hard! The darkness seems to be a shelter for me, i won't feel anything and avoid everything. It's hard to crawl out of the darkness for me, for coming out of my safety wall means facing reality. Hurts and heartbreak.

A lot of things happened thoughout the 4 years,
& i am really truly sorry. I wanted to apologize to Trixie, but i know for what i do, she also doesn't care. Maybe. She's enjoying now, happily.

For the rest,
I still can't face it.

Really, for me. I really don't feel i deserve anything. How hard it is to be good and bad. I really feels that i'm of the worse kind. I treasure friendship, and i smash it.

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Insert the names of each alphabet (:
A - AaronSatampLim
B - Bruno
C - Clarisson
D - Dorothy
E - Edwin
F - FrancescaTan
G - Genevieve
H - Hua Jian
I - Irfan
J - Jeremiah
K - Kah Fatt
L - Lawrence
M - Marietta
N - Nitya
O - (-)
P - Pricilla
Q - Qian Yi
R - Ricson
S - SamuelWong
T - Teresa
U - (-)
V - Veronica
W - Wan Tian
X - Xiang Wen
Y - Yong En
Z - Zhan Rong
P.s sorry for those names not included, there are so many of the same alpha ):

can R & S be in a boy-girl relationship?
♥ Unless they are gay.

How is L related to you?
♥ My Brother.

Does Y know Z ?
♥ Completely not.

If C betrays you would you kill him/her?
♥ Depends on how serious it is ;3 But i'm not so stupid enough to get into jail.

If K steals your boyfriend what would you do?
♥ Unless my future boyfriend wants to be a gay, i will just let him go.

What if B tells you that he/she has a crush on you?
♥ I will tell him that i would always love him as a friend! - though i know it will never happens :D

Will you & M get into a fight?
♥ Of course! It's been so common 4 -5 years ago. Not now maybe.

If G calls you a bitch, what would you do?
♥ HeartBreak.

Whats your relationship with E ?
♥ God brother & sister.

Who is I bestfriend?
♥ Hadi.

Wat does Z like?
♥ A girl in his class.

Wat colour does Y like?
♥ Pink!- Oscar's colour?

Where does G live?
♥ In Singapore!

Did you and C have a fight before?
♥ Nope, not yet i think.

Who is H bestfriend?
♥ Zhan Rong/Tommy i guess.

Wat can you say about V?
♥ She has a extreme layered hair, like to watch taiwan's show(if not wrong), thumb still not yet heal!

Is S your bestfriend?
♥ If he had treat me as one :)

Pass this quiz on to 5 ppl:
AaronSatamp, Andrew, Alicia, Edwin, JieSi.

Labels: Test .

Okay,
My phone is going to die soon, and i doubt my parent will buy me a new one. Almost unlikely. Those phone that i get seems to worn out/spoilt faster then it should, especially if i get touchscreen.

I am currently crazy over twilight, now reading Eclipse. Edward is so hot! - not the movie, but the one in my imagination.
Edward,Edward,Edward Cullen!
My Vampire Lover.

I had a lot of pictures from the Comfirmation Night till now not yet upload. Some that i still not yet receive. Hopefully i can upload all at once after i made my new blogskin.

My bigbigbig bear is no longer in my room! My 2nd brother is stealing it every night while i was using my computer. As not to break my bear arms, tug-a-war is not allowed.
How about naming my bear Edward? Sounds nice though.

Oh right,
My 'O' Level result are most likely to be release on the 9th/12th Jan. Oh Lord, i am really really afraid to get my English result. Bless me Lord. Doomsday is coming so quick, and i still haven't really prepared for it.
If i get to Poly, accountant would be my choice i guess.
And for the rest of the backup choice would be psychology,
Media design(though no creativity) or some other things that might somehow trigger my interest.

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我不知道现在该怎样反应，
我知道有可能一切都是谎言，
虽然我很不原意相信但事实就是如此的摆在眼前。

变了到底哪里变了？
真的变了吗？
可能一切的证据都摆明的对准这一切是个骗局。

骗局阿，
四年了……，每天都是如此。

利用，
可能从头到尾只是我一方面的在幻想。

My handphone joystick is dropping out :/ .

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人生是什么？
为什么人要活着呢？
为什么要有人类呢？

每个人总有一天都会离开凡尘，只是时间的问题。
我不明白，为什么世间总会有误会，总会有讨厌，总会有伤心，总会有泪水……
在莫些情况下，无论你怎么做都会是错的。
无论你多努力，让人接受，也可能不被领情。
我不明白，我真的不明白。
我到底怎么了，为什么我会如此的不爽。
为什么到现在，虽让我认为我在改变，但事实上，我却好像原地踏步似的！
为何我会那么的不耐烦，为何我那么害怕？
为何除了他们，就没了？
离别，讨厌，伤害。
我痛恨！
然而，我们确实是因受伤才成长成如此的，不是吗？

对不起，对不起。
除了对不起，我无法找出其他的字来代替我心中的愧疚。
就因为我很浮渣，所以我无法控制。
我总是做错事。
我很坏吧……

对不起主，原谅我的罪过。

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My hand will always be there for you.

Reach church this afternoon at 1.30pm.
The Junior Catechist are suppose to do the decoration at 2pm (Volunteer , but most say they're coming.) but ended up, i waited for more then 30mins or so ): . It's my 1st time waking up so early (maybe not) after so long but it wasn't so bad after all, i manage to clear my novel till chapter 7 before they came. So means the time was not waste :D .
Okay, so once F and A reached, F immediately went to find Father to find out what we're suppose to do. As for A and I, we were pretty much enjoying our KFC's cheese fries & Zinger meal. After that, we went on setting up our christmas tree.
Since both of our Christmas tree are not big enough, Father eventually cancelled the idea of placing on at the foyer. We spent 2+ hours, i guess, setting up and decorating the tree. Fun though. After that, A, F and I went to slack on, talking crap ;3 .



It was about 6.30-7pm by then, so people were setting up the Auditorium and Coffee Corner for the Recon., so as we're doing nothing, we decided to help out. We didn't do much, as it's soon finished.
Anyway, soon by then, C and P came. After some chit-chating about how afraid i am for confession, they eventually convinced me to write all my sins on a paper! and yes, i did it. This time i am really serious for my confession, to reconciliate with my God. Those slide playing during the whole recon. are meaningful, and i seriously feel guity, for what i had been doing. I know, I will be repeating and repeating my sins, but i will make myself not to/cut down.
After everyone in the Auditorium had gone up queue-ing to make confession, we also make our way up. Since C and I think that we're the J.Cs, we shouldn't rush and do our confession. Let other do 1st of course (: .
As we went up to the foyer, after some discussion, F, C and I decided to have F. Bruno to do the confession. Yet, since he was taking waaay too long, and other priest are getting free. Those wardens brought me to F. Andrew (regretted). I am so nervous the moment i went into the confession room(as always), I almost forgot how to start. F. Andrew was really talking veryveryvery softly. I can't make up what he is saying, so i just anyhow hamtam, hopefully i did the right thing :/ My confession was fast, about 1mins or so i guess. When i came out, C and F are still queue-ing for F. Bruno.
However, as F. Bruno is reaaaaally taking too long, F's Dad eventually got F to have her confession with F. Terence. (hohoho) Okay, Soon, both F and C are in the confession room with F. Terence and F. Bruno respectively. As I was chatting happily with N, I was called into F. Terence office ( At 1st was to do confession. -freakout, but i didn't in the end). I was sitting side by side with F. He had a talk with us. (I was veryveryvery moved by him, reaaaaallyreaaally)
So after confession, and was late. C walked me to Woodland MRT. While walking towards the station, i saw someone who really resembles my friend. Just as my thoughts was about to drift back to those unhappiness and miss, C suddenly said to me " Let it go ". It was totally out of our conversation topic. I was freaked by his words, alright.
How does he know what i am thinking ? seriously.
He, himself also doesn't know why, just that there is a voice telling him to say that.
I feel much better after hearing those words, really.
I believe, it's time to let it go, and i will try to and will do it.

----

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It's fun but no stamina !

Facilitate the Journey with St. Anthony yesterday , it's wasn't smooth and easy as usual.
My 1st destination out of church is ECP ( East Coast Park ), F, A, C and I spent hell lot time getting that place, even Silas the 1st group reached there before us !( They had to travel to another destination before that) Awww, things are screwed up! Okay, maybe not, since it's not my station but just accompany F for her station. Maybe if we took MRT to Marina Bay and walk/taxi would be a better choice, i think. Since i never trust Bus -.-"

After ECP, we rush to our 2nd station ( My very 1st station is in church, Quizzessss ), Botanic Garden. At Marina Garden or where, we were wondering around, studying bus route. Just in the most desperate time , Aunty Diane came to the rescue! ( I am neither feeling well? ) She walked towards us herself and volunteer to bring us into Orchard. She is just like a Smaritans laaa. Anyway, as we reached Orchard, alight from the bus, we found out that we're either lost/no more time for the next bus. Hence we decided to take Taxi. However, in Orchard, Town, it's so SUPER hard to stop a taxi. It's either Hired/On call. We 4 walked a hell far distance to a shopping centre's Taxi Stand.
Argh,
The Taxi uncle said, that they would be fine once they stop at the road side anyhow, hence no one dare to let us up.
Tra-la-la.

We reached Botanic Garden with 7.00dollars of taxi fare ): ( F paid anyway ;3 )
Immediately, rush inside and start making water bombs!
At the end of the activity, we finished a total of 7packet of bagggs? & It's still not quite enough.
I remember as the 1st group, Silas came, Charles took one bomb and POUR water at me! Argh,
and due to the lacks of bomb, rest of the groups didn't really got too wet.
At the end of the section, all 5 groups gone, we are left to clear up the mess ourself. I am so SMELLY which i had no idea why! Luckily, my last station was cancelled. So, we rush back to church and bath!

Our dinner was Pizza! not PizzaHut but Ritz Pizza but it tasted rather well too ;3
Thoughout the whole night in church, most of the J.Cs only slept for 1-3hours or more. We are playing Blackjack, Cheat, Daidii for hours and hours with some sec 1s . Actually F and I planned to eat cup noodles at during the night, but eventually i ended up with no appetite. $1.50 is wasted ); .

As time drag on and on, soon it's morning. Most of the people who was sleeping inside the Auditorium woke up and brush up. Meanwhile, i also woke up from my nap. F was sleeping soundly on a chair, C was no where to be found ( which he is actually way at the back of the coffee corner sleeping on the rows of chairs. In which i had to suffer the uncomfortable coffee chair ): ) and lastly A, best of all, in the Auditorium sleeping in his bed (sleepingbag) comfortably. Nevermind, later on, after the morning prayer, i went to buy bread and milk. I felt super uncomfortable, either is over exhaust of what, just feel like vomiting. So, i hide myself behind the control console and sleep! ;3 It's suppose to be a secret but eventually C sees me! and pat me back to sleep.
-sweet .

I woke up when the whole thing has ended and help out in arranging the table and chairs back to it's original place. Then, the participants are dismissed to go home, we the J.Cs , S and S start on to play Cluedo. I seriously don't understand how the game works, so i lose of course, but i learn something from it eventually.
Next time must see before play.

Hahas, and so I went home and had my beauty sleep :3 .
-yummyyummy .

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Alright,

It's was so boring the whole day.

Blogskins.com is so lag today, or maybe it got bugged or something, i had to refresh the pages again and again. Anyway, i going to remake a blogskin soon, as i think it's time to change :D .

Oh, i received Brother Jovita's Christmas Greetings card already, it's so sweet of him! Exactly one week before Christmas.





Just called my Aunt about the changing of the timing for the Piano lesson, her tone was .. harsh/friendly, i can't differentiate. Seriously, i don't like calling either of them, my Aunt and my Piano Teacher. It's like after PSLE already, and my cousin is now having tuition almost everyday? -exceptthursday&friday- It's like too over already i feel. Hey, i been through those days and i understand how it feels. Though i know that my cousin is like somehow filial and have not much of feelings and everything yes,yes,yes? Argh, I seriously don't want to squeeze both piano lesson on both Thursday and Friday, i will surely make my little cousin super unhappy - No freedom through out the whole week - moreover, it's CHRISTMAS next thursday! I need to think of a solution now.
Though i know whatever happens, my cousin also won't appreciate i guess, she might be thinking that i'm just busybody. The one whole speaks for her is her mum, my aunt. She doesn't care.

----
Sometimes i just doesn't want to lose those care and corner i once had.

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